Chapter 1: Undue Alarm

The title appears telling us that this is Half-life 2 Episode 1 and then it disappears. Then, a couple strange objects rotate before falling into the void in a direct quote of the opening of the Twilight Zone TV Show.

One such piece of debris is a video screen showing the former leader of the Earth’s suppressive government (and Christopher Lee doppelganger) Wallace Breen calling out for Gordon Freeman. We see the top of the Citadel at the moment the portal generator was destroyed. Alex, suspended at the moment of the explosion, is safely rescued by the Vortigaunts. The G-man appears and is about to give another lispy speech but the Vortigaunts keep him back using some sort of handmade force field that would make playing Vortigaunt in football really hard. Frustrated, he straightens his tie and says “we’ll see about that.” I wish those Aliens would come in more often to block long-winded cut scenes. A couple more Vortigaunts appear and pull the viewer (Gordon Freeman) out of wherever the heck he is now.

It’s black again. Dog pulls Gordon out of the Citadel wreckage. Alex is happy to see he is alive and she gives him a first-person style hug. Her cheek takes up half the screen. She says that she was so worried then blushes after realizing that she is indicating her affection for him. Dog holds out the gravity gun and then she sends him off to fix the monitor. Still no response from Gordon. She is likely use to his taciturn ways and they have probably worked out a system of one stomp for yes, two stomps for no.

This whole scene is set among the wreckage under the still standing Citadel. You are probably standing on Wallace Breen’s turtleneck. It even seems as if a gentle snow is falling. But, that could be nuclear fallout though so I won’t say it is pleasant. Follow Alyx by using the Grav Gun to remove the boards on the right side of that rubble pile she climbed up on.

At the top, Dog proves why he is the most likeable character in this whole series by grabbing the antenna of the suitcase monitor they have setup in order to improve the signal. Alyx’s dad, sounding more and more like Bill Cosby, wonders whys she has not escaped the City. The other Scientist, Dr. Kleiner goes on and on about the fall of the Citadel. As a side activity, turn around and see if you can get that red bike off of that tall spike. While you are working on that, Alex and the Scientists determine that it would be best to head back into the Citadel to turn off the reactor in order to buy them some more escape time. Without even asking for Gordon’s thoughts on the matter, Alyx pulls him back to the base of the Covenant.

Jump down to the little ledge that Alyx is looking at and continue to hug the edge of the canyon. There will be a car in the way so hit it a few times with the Grav Gun.

When you get to the final junk clearing, Alex looks around for a way across the chasm and into the Citadel. Dog perks up and then jumps and swings over the pile of rubble returning with a red van. He motions for Gordon and Alex to sit in it while he throws it through the Citadel opening. Basically this van proves that a robot is more creative and resourceful than this Nuclear Engineer and Scientist’s Daughter.

Climb aboard the magic bus and watch as Dog picks it up and sends the two of them careening across the gorge. Then, like in an Star Tours, the Van dives through the bowls of the Citadel. It really is an exciting moment.

 Inside the Citadel 

The Citadel is really just the Death Star in building form. Every surface is either black and shinny or grey and fairly shiny. Similar to the Death Star, and any other HQ for the forces of evil, it is also a weapon. In this case the main reactor is going to blow and destroy the city.

From the van, cross the little bridge and continue through some generic grey hallways to emerge in front of a frighteningly deep orange fissure that make the scale of this level feel so sublime. If you look over the edge you can see those little pods falling right off the side of the track.

Continue on until you reach the emaciated and grub-like Stalkers; the scariest creature in this game. This one is working really hard at preventing Alyx from hacking the force field. To get past, Alyx figures that we should go get a roller mine. Here is how to do it:

• Turn around and head through the door that is next to the window. Walk around the path and drop down to that generic piece of high tech black machinery.
• Walk across to the faulty elevator, to the platform with the single red light switch. When pressed, it releases a batch of those roller mines on your head like a futuristic recreation of Captain Kangaroo’s ping-pong ball gag.
• As soon as they fall, grab one and run for that faulty elevator.
• Bring it over to Alyx and she will reprogram it for you.
• When it glows yellow, fire the ball through the force field and it will take out the Stalkers.

Follow along the path through the debris pile and jump over the balcony that overlooks another blue fissure. When you reach the huge sucking machine that pulls soldiers off like little ants, stop and time your sprint so that it occurs the moment it is done sucking.

At the next terminal Alyx uncovers a video of Wallace Breen addressing some higher-up. He says that he might be able to deliver Earth to these evil worm-overlords but is having portal problems. Turn around and a pod slowly rises in the tube behind you. It hits both you and Alyx with some sort of mind blast that just looks like that bright light ophthalmologists use when examining your retina. Then next chamber supercharges you Grav Gun into the improved version I like to call “so this is what God’s hand is like.”

In this next section of the Citadel you will need to fix a series of broken energy bridges. For the bridge to extend, both of the nearby sockets (seen by looking over the chasm) must be energized. In this first one you can see that the left socket is un-energized and glowing red. Use the Grav Gun to grab one of the free roaming energy balls and fire it at the socket with the red light.

Fought off the waves of soldiers on the other side and complete the second energy bridge the same way as before.

The third energy bridge also is protected by a platoon of soldiers. When you crumple all of them, you will have to negotiate a socket that is blocked by a transparent shield. Aim the energy ball just above the clear shield so it ricochets into the socket.

Follow the next series of hallways until you reach another red fissure. Take a sharp left and jump to get to a bridge. A drop ship flies overheard but is struck by a random concussive explosion and is thrown against the opposite wall.

When you reach the transport elevator you will have to power it. Grab the energy ball that is suspended in the white light and fire it at the socket across the gap.

• During the descent, large pieces of debris will fall on you. Just look up and hold the left trigger and any dangerous debris will automatically will be caught. Fire it off to the side.
• The elevator will stop in front of another socket that will be blocked by glass. Fire an energy ball at the computer terminal that is located on the lower right corner and then suck the debris with the Grav Gun. Fire an energy ball into the newly opened hole and it will ricochet itself into the socket.
• The elevator will stop a third time in front of another socket. This time there is a large bit of machinery blocking a clear shot. Hit the junk a few times with an energy ball and then suck up the wreckage. Aim the energy ball so it misses the monolithic pole but still close enough to hit the socket. There is also a stalker there that will stop your elevator from moving. Ricochet another an energy ball into its station to kill it.

When you reach the bottom there are these really cool doors with imbricate rods that rise up when it is opened. This is the entrance to the core of the Citadel.

Chapter 2: Direct Intervention

TIME: 30 min ******

I love the generic energy apparatus that is in this Chapter and in pretty much all of the Half-life games. Because there is this inherent logic to the machinery, I can buy into it and figure out the puzzle even though I have no idea why I am doing it. It’s like “oh a pulsating field of energy, I will push complicated piece of equipment in front of it. Oh look an energy beam is extended to it and a door opens. Ok, let’s go.”

After being ambushed by a pack of Storm Troopers I mean White Combine Soldiers, Alex opens the hatch and we see the Black Hole Sun Reactor. She says it looks pretty far gone. I have to believe her because I have no idea what the life-cycle of an inter-dimensional portal reactor cores looks like. At the next terminal she calls an elevator to send Gordon down into the mines while she sits up in the command center working on the computer.

You can unlock the Pacifist Achievement in this area if you do not shoot any of the stalkers. It isn’t hard, you will just have to work fast because they undo of the sockets that you energize.

 First Floor

The goal of the First floor is to complete all of the energy bridges and then press the red button at the control booth to access the ladder to the second floor.

• The room is basically a huge triangle with an energy socket located at each point of the triangle. Energize the first two sockets and run across the first bridge.

• Grab another two energy balls and energize the second two sockets and run across that bridge.

• At this point the two stalkers should have de-energized at least one of the sockets. Work quickly to energize the 3 sockets and then press the red button in the little command booth.

• There is a diagram on the nearby glass panel that will indicate which of the socks has been energized.

• After pressing the button the bridges will rotate to the center. Run there and climb up the ladder.

 Second Floor

The goal of the second floor is to move a mysterious piece of machinery up to the core to discharge some of its energy. Here is how to do it.

• Run across the bridge and into the command center which is full of soldiers.

• Run outside again, grab an energy ball, and shoot it into the socket that is located over window.

• Out rolls something which you know is high tech because it emits its own light, has tubes and something on it rotates. When it locks into place a stream of dark energy is sucked out of the core.
• Continue through the door to the left of the high tech thing as it is now unlocked

Turn right when you get to the red hallway. You are going to have to get into that red energy spewing accelerator. God love Gordon Freeman and his willingness to jump into radioactive machinery. Maybe he doesn’t talk because his radiated lymph nodes have swelled his tongue to gargantuan proportions.

• Pull of the hatch door and carry it in front of you as you walk towards that energy ball accelerator.
  
• You can dodge the energy balls too to reduce damage
• Take a left as soon as you get close to the actual emitter.
  
• Head up the blue ramp and then follow those shinny pipes to the next door. Break through it to fight more guards.
  

Here on the second floor of the core you will have to run right past it as it pulsates. Cross the energy bridge and observe the pulsating core. Dash to the left when it is contracting to get to the other side.

In the second control room you will again have to power the socket with an energy ball. They can be obtained along the left wall.

Walk to the elevator to the third floor

 Third Floor 

In order to reach the third control room, you need to jump over the railing and onto one of the three booms rotating above the core. After rotating around about 180 degrees, jump to the other balcony. Head through another hatch and into another particle accelerator room. Hold the sprint button and dodge left and right as you get through them.

Activating the mystery machine in the third control room is a bit trickier

• Grab a ball out of the cracked glass and shoot it at the socket. Watch as the mystery machine breaks down in the act.
• Jump down into the compartment behind it.
• Look for the sparks and see that there is access to that energy ball accelerator in a hole in the ceiling.
• Using those energy balls, power the middle and the far left energy socket. Powering the third one will raise the elevator without you so don’t do it yet.
• Hold an energy ball, stand on the elevator and then power the energy socket on the far right.
• Now back in the control room, grab another energy ball out of the broken glass and power the main socket.
  

The core shrinks down to an oblate spheroid and retracts into the booms like a post-coital testicle. Head through the now unlocked door in the back of the room. Alyx is there and while you were out eradiating yourself she was examining the combine computer system. In a last ditch effort, the Combine was going to detonate the core to slingshot a message to the Empire’s overlords. Alex downloads the message they were going to send and says we need to get it to her father. She also finds a distress call by Judith Mossman. Follow Alex out of there.

In the next room, grab the two mines and hold them near Alyx to reprogram them to fight the Combine soldiers. Then, head for the train.

The train is packed with Stalkers who are locked into their travel cases. Alex explains that these were regular humans the combine abducted. They transformed them into these alien looking creatures. Stalkers are like los desaparecidos but instead of being pushed out of airplanes they were hooked up with cybernetics. Look at their little ball legs. Yuck. Alex is compassionate to their plight which shows, you know, like, emotion of her character. The train continues on and comes to a crashing stop. All the Stalkers are awake and start screaming like mad. Alex is pinned behind one of them. It really is the scariest part in this whole game. Pull it off her with the Grav Gun.

UNLOCK CONTAINMENT ACHIEVEMENT

Chapter 3: Lowlife

Crawl under the little hole in the debris to get to the next hallway. Alyx stops and takes a moment to recompose herself after the harrowing train crash. She looks truly scared. It’s not because of anything the developers did though. It’s just that the blank eyes, slacked mouth, and flushed skin tones of videogame characters make them always look like they are suffering from some sort of post traumatic stress. It works here because now there really is a reason why a game character should look that way. I’m not totally heartless though, I wish there were a hug button.

|| Time: 1 Hr ********

We find ourselves in a post-apocalyptic war-torn underground fighting to get to the surface and, eventually, to the evacuees train station.

Use the Grav Gun quite extensively here and you should be able to pickup the BONE BREAKER (killing 30 enemies with thrown objects) achievement quite easily. Pushing the car around with the gun also is an effective weapon. There are also lots of flares and if you rub it up against an enemy will set it ablaze and step you closer to the Zombie-que achievement.

This is level is really where Alyx has some good one liners. If you keep having flashlight problems she will mention that she is going to talk to Kleiner about how useless it is. Basically, we have a game developer writing a joke about a game-play mechanism that was created by a developer.

When you get to the darkened hallway with the un-powered door you will need to climb through your first air duct. The grate is located along the ground and behind the grey barrel. Before shimmying through the vent though, hang around Alyx and she will mention Gordon’s proclivity for duct running.

When you reach the darkened room you will need to shoot through the locked gate. No bullets or guns to do it? There is a shotgun and pistol locked in the caged-off corner of the room. Use the Grav Gun to lift each item up and out of the bent fence at the top. If you are going for the ONE FREE BULLET ACHIEVEMENT, here is the one time you get to fire a gun. When you get through the gate, head over to the electrical box to power everything up again.

The deep tunnels don’t seem like they are heavily populated by people. I wonder if zombies get excited when they see someone like Gordon and Alyx run through. Here the zombies are wandering around, never expected to see live brains in a place as remote as under a city and then all of a sudden here comes to fresh, big, scientist brains right up to them.

I am going to coast through the step-by-step here because most of this area is just bashing through endless scrums of zombies and combines and zombie combines (or zombines which Alyx will humorously mention soon.) I think this area was compromise between the “sewer” camp and “underground freeway” camp of designers. They want it to be a sewer so bad that a few floors are flooded with water. I realize they wanted to create a darkened area for us to get scared in and I am not sure what other environment could do it. I think this is where Beast lived in the Beauty and the Beast TV show.

When you finally get out of the darkened tunnels and to the well lit garage, you find an Antlion burrow. They will continuously pour out and the only way to stop them is to push the nearby car on top of it. You can tell that the burrow has been successfully blocked if there are no longer yellow-green flurries hovering over the hole. When done, turn the crank to get out.

Eventually you find yourself in the fifth floor of a garage (labeled on the wall as P5). The place is swarming with Antlions and you will have use cars to plug their burrows. While fighting the lions, hit them with your Grav Gun to flip them over and let Alyx shoot them.

• The first car is the red wagon on the ground floor. Push it into the one of your choosing.
• The second car is on the next floor up. Run up the thin concrete beam to access it. The green car is crashed halfway into an elevator room. Push it down to the first floor and into another burrow.
  
• The third car is on the second floor as well but you will need to climb up to the third floor to get over the gate it is locked behind. Crank the wheel on the wall to pull back the fence.
  

When all the cars are in place, you can now open the third floor gate unmolested. If you are having trouble finding the gate, look for Alyx. She stands by it waiting for you.

The next significant room is a flooded basement that gives Alyx the chance to do some lonely nerd service by offering to climb into your Hazmat Suit. Use the barrels to your advantage, careful though,  it is a powder keg in here.

Once out of there, you arrive to a quite large dark area. The elevator in the back breaks down and needs to be reset. Here is how to do it.

• Follow the power line from the front of the elevator to places around the room. It will disappear into the roof but there are holes in the ceiling (complete with bodies hanging out) that hint at its location.
• Preserve as many of those explosive canisters as you can, they will come in handy later when you have to battle a rush of zombies.
• The door to the electrical room is a grey one with a wooden beam across it. It is in a rather large fenced off area on the wall opposite to the elevator.
• Once inside and after you hit the power, the elevator will start. However, it takes a long time for it to get to your level so you will have to fight of the several waves of zombies.
• Get out of that little power room, a single zombine grenade will blow all of you up easily while you are in there.
• The best place to fight is right in front of the elevator so you are there when it does arrive.
• Don’t worry about killing all the zombies, just get into the elevator to escape.
• I love the casual way that Alyx acts as each floor you pass by shows another level of zombie torment.

UNLOCK: ELEVATOR ACTION ACHIEVEMENT
|| Hr 1hr 39min ********

Chapter 4: Urban Flight

Alyx and Gordon emerge from the subterranean hallways of the under city and are in a subterranean subway station. Look to the walls for some pretty neat fliers that looks like they gave someone in graphics carte blanche to draw some post-apocalyptic rave advertisements. There are also pay phones. I think that for level designers, payphones and toilets are easy props they use so a room doesn’t seem so empty. Whether they make sense or not is up for debate.

Our two travelers’ progress is hampered though by a gate. Everything in the world is destroyed or has a rock through it but this one gate managed to survive completely unscathed. Unscathed except for that crank to open it which is inexplicably gone. There isn’t even a broken off one, it’s just gone. Lucky for us the public works department hidden some spare cranks in the storage closet that is kitty-corner to the elevator. Search through the boxes and debris in there to find another orange handle that can open the gate.

When you get out, the scientist Kleiner has taken control of the video screen that was once dominated by the Wallace Breen show. I bet if you would just put this speech over a phat beat you could have a career making hit electronica records. It is pretty interesting and worth a watch. Here are the highlights.

•  Everyone should escape the city because the Citadel will explode.
• Everyone should have sex. The implication is that the Combine had emitted a shield over the city that prevented the production of semen and or embryonic development. Note to anyone trying to rule the Earth: sexual frustration is a force that will always lead to revolution.
• The communication network for all the Citadels on Earth has been shutdown. Therefore, the Columbine can no longer open portals.
• There are new human scientists in training and the Combine should fear us because we can think independently and are rad.
• Humans should prepare for retaliation from the Combine

When you have had enough, turn to the corner opposite the Kleiner broadcast and see a slapdash arrangement of corrugated steel panels. Pull them off with the Grav Gun and proceed through the level.

Eventually you will reach a long, quaint city street that is teaming with Antlions. Again, place the cars over the burrows but also take the opportunity to push the cars into the individual Antlions and work your way towards the CAR CRUSHER achievement. When you get to the end of the street, go through the blue door to continue on.

Behind the blue door is a bombed out bakery/cafe with a bunch of emptied out pastry display cabinets. The place looks like crap and despite the apparent uselessness of the building, two Combine troops see it worthy enough to install a complicated array of trip mines that promise to explode your delicatesticles @@ @@. It shows that even in the throws of defeat, those Combine bastards will do anything to keep the citizenry from enjoying their baklava, babka, and café au lait. Blow them up by triggering the lasers with some of the nearby wreckage.

The leaking gas keeps the place ablaze so you will have to knock out the fuel source before you can continue.

• Walk to the back of the former kitchen to a set of pipes that teeter when you walk on them.
• Place a bunch of junk on the near side of it to counterbalance your weight as you run to the other end.
• Jump to what is left of the floor and turn off the valve on the giant fuel tank.

The next area is protected by a keen Sniper. Head to the street outside and use the following steps to get through this part.

• Dodge to each of the car bodies that were strategically discarded in mid street.
• Sprint right for the sniper’s building and attack the machinegun emplacement at point blank range. The sniper won’t hit you if you are right under him.
• Grab the grenades in the fenced off area and throw them up and into the sniper’s window.

Alyx will take the sniper’s position and help you as you navigate the next series of areas.

Eventually you will get to an alley with an Antlion burrow and a single combine. Here is an easy way to get two achievements.

• Pull the metal sheeting out from behind the Combine Gunner so Alyx can take care of him.
• Get the LIVE BAIT achievement by hovering around the burrow while Alyx snipes them.
• Now is also a good time to get in kills for the CAR CRUSHER achievement by throwing those cars at the Antlions. There are more opportunities to crush Antlions in the remainder of this level so worry about getting it here if your health is low.

Continue through the next series of rooms as you battle through the combine. Eventually you will drop out into a city street with a huge Antlion Guard tearing up the neighborhood.

• The best way to preserve your bullets is to let the Combine soldiers take care of the Antlion.
• When they have been killed, hit the Antlion Guard with the half dozen explosive barrels scattered around the neighborhood.
• When it is down, work to plug the smaller Antlion burrows.
• Finally, attack the Combine barricade to reach the next part of the level.

There is another locked door and like all the rest, the power has gone out meaning you will have to go through AC vents to get to them. The grate is located behind the red barrels. Continue through the ductwork until you fall through to a new room surrounded by security trip mines.

• Go to the center of the duct and press the lift (not the shoot) button on the Grav Gun to remove the vent. Set it on top of the duct.
• Climb through the vent and walk across the first three exploding barrels.
• Jump over the remaining laser to the elevator.
• Get in the elevator and look up at the vent. Shoot it out of the way as it falls, look at the surface and hit the jump button to swim to the top.
• When you emerge, there will be another similarly protected room. Trip the laser then dive deep into the water to protect yourself from the blast.
• Get back into the now clear room and jump through the broken glass.
• Place the table that is in the room underneath the vent and climb through.

At the end of this second vent is another elevator shaft that requires you to carefully wind your way up it. Here is a step-by-step:

• From the vent jump diagonally across the shaft to the beam on the other side then jump diagonally again to the ladder.
• When you reach the top of the ladder, head for the vent is a quick jump down.
• At the end of the duct work is a vent to the power room. The room is full of explosives so toss a grenade or two in there before dropping in.
• The electrical box is in there so open it to power all the doors and proceed onward.

Fight through the next set of explosive rooms. Eventually you will have to head up a few stairs to a room with a green light in the corner. That light indicates that there is a giant electrical plug there. Use the Grav Gun to pull it and disable the force field that is at the bottom of the stairs.

Emerge onto the city streets again and clear it of Combine. When you do, a resistance fighter will be standing next to an open door allowing the two of you to enter. Alyx nags the guy for not leaving the city. His excuse is that they have been gathering all the freedom fighters together to leave the city.

Hour: - 2:00hrs ****
 In the Rebel Base

At the deepest part of the rebel base you find the fighters watching the  Kleiner Broadcast. His message is cued up to exactly the point where he is explaining the revived sexual ability of the citizen’s. Despite there being a perfect 1 to 1 male to female ratio, no one looks remotely interested.

Follow on through the rooms. You will fall through the floor of one of them and have to reconnect with Alyx later. If you proceed slowly through the next set of rooms you can hear a couple how everyone is a doctor except them, how there were Jugglers on the old Wallace Breen show, and that Headcrabs don’t taste like crab.

At the very top of the hallway is Barney Calhoun hiding out with the rest of the rebels. He reports that they are trying to get to the train station. Alyx figures that she and Gordon can create a diversion by luring the combine away so they can escape. Barney has no problem letting someone else act as bait and lowers the drawbridge to the rooftops. Get your old crowbar from Barney and continue onward.

 Hospital 
As you continue through the bombed out apartments a gunship thumps overhead. The various drawbridges eventually lead you to a hospital. Stay close to the windowed wall so that the preying gunship won’t hit you with it’s titular guns. Also, let the Combine and Zombies fight it out, no point wasting your ammo.

At the end of the hospital you end at the top floor and the gunship moves in for the attack. Here is how to deal with it

• On the lower level is a rocket launcher, grab it as it is the easiest way of taking out the ship.
• The upper floor of the roof has an unlimited supply of rockets if you need more.
• Hunker down on the lower floor and let the ship destroy the roof so you can have a clear shot. Or, you can shoot the roof with missiles to move the battle along faster.
• Fire your missile launcher at it and remember, the rockets go where the laser sight is pointing.
• The Gunship takes about 5 hits, depending on where you connect.

|| TIME: 2:39

After you take down the gunship, kill the covenant that blast through the door on the lower level and head through that newly opened door. Your back in the hospital. According to the commentary track it was based of photos of the Chernobyl medical facilities. As you fight down the hallway the music kicks in and I will now refer to it as butt-rock-techno. Custom made for the mulletted clubber set.

 Flooded Electrical Room 

When you finally fight your way to the surgery room with the institution-green lighting, drop down the hole in the back corner. You land in a flooded room full of fences and a pathway winding around the edge of it.
First, get out of the small fenced in cage by diving under and swimming to the staircase. The object here is to turn on the power to unlock the blue door. However, turning on the power will also electrify the water and frying you if you try to get too close. Prep the environment using the following steps:

• Find the blue barrel and fire it to the staircase with two barnacles hanging over it.
• Swim to that side of the room to retrieve your barrel.
• Clear out all the barnacles you meat along the way. Let them pick you up, equip the crowbar, and start swinging it at them before you get to their mouth.
• Park the blue barrel under the long end of the broken catwalk. Doing so will keep it from dipping into the water when you run across it.
• Before switching on the power, you should probably practice the run described below a few times to clear out all the hidden crabs and to make sure you have the jumping right.

When everything is ready, flip the switch. It is located on a pillar in the far corner of the room.

• While holding the sprint button, run to the edge of the first catwalk and jump to the single catwalk.
• The sparking electrical box should now be in front of you so turn right about 90 degrees and jump to the broken off pillar.
• Walk along the red pipe towards the bombed out room.
• From inside the room, climb out the window and continue counterclockwise along the walkway towards the (now open) blue door.

Side Note: I don’t know what happens in the Valve offices but it seems like anytime there is a large pool of water, a live wire is nearby to charge it. It is essentially a hot lava level.

When you head through the blue door you are reunited with Alyx. Continue on and drop down into another room which is surrounded on three walls by a hallway and has a shelf full of mines. If you want to get the DEADLY HARVEST achievement, drop a few at each of the doors. Soon, the zombies will be on their way through.

In the next room is some burned out corpse being zapped periodically by an electrical wire. Again with the live wire. Was Gabe Newell a former electrician?

Around the next corner is another hospital hallway flanked with patient rooms. This time though there two gun turrets at the end.

• Grav Gun all the hopper mines along the way. At the back of the hallway is a grey door leaning against the wall, pick it up and carry it in front to shield yourself from the bullets. The door won’t last long so you should replace it with a radiator that can be found in one of the patient rooms.
• With the radiator leading the way, walk all the way up to the blue force field.
• Fire the radiator at the green light in the upper left corner of the force field. This will knockout the plug that powers the gun turrets and the force field.

You finally battle your way to the train station but upon reaching the last room a camera spots the two of you and interrupts Kleiner’s message. As Alyx warns, now they know you are here. I have a feeling they already knew based on the fact that we have been chewing through soldiers, gun ships, and turrets like a tractor through corn and farmers’ arms.

Chapter 5: Exit 17

Barney comes out in his dapper post-apocalyptic turtle neck to say that if we can escort enough resistance fighters to the trains we should be ok. Here we go. The escort mission. The good news is we only have to go lead them through two rooms. The bad news is that we have to lead five separate groups each made up of four people. So it comes out to 20 escort missions.

First Trip 

Take the first group to the train station. There will be a big, blue train car lifted in the profane, “ass-first” position. Head under it and then up onto the concrete walkway to get around the other, less promiscuous, train. When you get to the fenced in area by the windows, your followers are safe. Run back outside and across the junk pile to pickup another set of citizens.

Second Trip

Alyx stays behind to (wo)man the gun turret in the most un-strategic position. It’s like she is guarding the five yard line when there isn’t even anyone on that side of the field. 

• Since you were last in the parking lot, the combine fairy has left hopper mines. Use the Grav Gun to disarm them. Then, move them to the concrete base of that yellow building across the street. The combine will repel down to these spots on your next time through.
• Run over to the other building for more citizens. No one says “Let’s get the hell out of here” or “come on let’s go” but you have to take them anyway.
• When you fight the waves of Combine, stand in the doorway of Barney’s building. Doing so will keep the citizens from wandering out and getting killed by the enemy. (Which is the number one problem with escort missions.)
• Use your rockets, there is an endless rocket supply crate here so you can refill when you go by.
• When the coast is clear, run across the parking lot the train depot.
• Instead of running right under that profane blue train, stay by the door so your mindless followers won’t be running bullet sponges.

The third trip

• When you go back out to the parking lot, the hopper mine fairy visited again and left three mines. Deactivate them and place them once again under that yellow building across the street.
• Fight the next set of parking lot attackers the same way you did before, by keeping the citizens from leaving the room.
• In the train depot, the combine are already there waiting for you. One of them has the good sense to censor the train that is presenting by bombing it into a more discrete position on the ground.
• The old path is blocked, so climb the catwalk ramp that fell when the bomb went off.
• Jump down from the catwalk when you get over to Alyx’s side. Don’t worry, your followers have no problem jumping from up there.

The fourth trip

• When the citizens are deposited, run back to the parking lot.
• Outside, the combine are actually waiting for you. Shoot the four or five that are right by the door and refill your rockets.
• You will need the rockets because at the top of the lot is a fighting vehicle that launches rockets too. To kill it, stay close to the rocket crate, fire a quick shot and then retreat back into the doorway of the train depot.
• After picking up the citizens, the second trip across the lot isn’t so bad. Inside the depot, though, the troops will come pouring of the lower level door. A few missiles will make quick work of them.

The fifth Trip

• There will be more Combine in the parking lot. Do what you can.
• This is the final group so Barney will come with you. He will make some combat talk but overall is fairly useless.
• Kill just enough Combine to get to the other side. You don’t need to kill them all here.
  

When you get there, Alyx will close the gate behind you and this escort mission comes to a close. Be sure to write to your local video game developer and tell them that we don’t need any more escort missions . Ever. 

 Battle Against The Strider

Barney tells us to get into the train but Alyx speaks for the both of us and says, “you go on ahead we’ll take the next train.” Like hell we will. I’m getting on that first train. Alyx can do cleanup on her own.

Sadly, that’s not a choice and we have to follow Alyx to the next battle. The area is a train yard populated with busted up trains and huge cargo containers.

Alex stands in front of a garage door. Use the nearby orange crank to open it so the two of you can escape. Unfortunately, a Strider drops in and destroys the crank just as Alyx is safely behind the cargo door. Now you have to fight a Strider by yourself despite the fact that this was all Alyx’s idea to stay behind and take the afternoon train. All affection I had built up for the lady went right out that garage door she that she is safely behind.

So, now you have to battle against that crawly thing. The first step is to get yourself through the series of crates and to the other side of the tracks. You shouldn’t worry yourself with attacking the thing yet. You just want to get over to a more secure place. Here is a basic strategy:

• Wait for it to blast the nearby crates and run through them.
• Continue behind the next series of crates until you get to the white one that is tilted upward.
• Run up it and then around to a blue one that is full of wooden boxes.
• Dash across the two red crates and pull a counter clockwise U-turn to head back for the White tilted crate. This time, though, you will be on top of the crates instead of on the ground level.
  

Now that you are on top of another pair of red cargo crates, dash because you are in plain site of that Strider.

• Jump up to the catwalk and use the health refill station.
• Fire the crates that are up there at the further stretches of the catwalk. There are trip mines and exploding barrels that will be cleared out when you do this.
• Duck and crawl along the rest of this area so you are hidden from the Strider behind the steel sheets.
• Watch out for the Combine up ahead and the hopper mines down below.
• The next stretch of catwalk is protected by a two-high section of those corrugated steel sheets - Dash through the next area and hop down behind the blue crate to rest and refill.
• You can’t stay long because the Strider will really start hitting you and pushing the blue crate towards you.
• Run around it and hop down a fenced off hallway just to the left of the Strider.
• You just have to make it to the end of this hallway but be careful because there are several hopper mines.
• When you see the red and yellow striped train take a quick left in front of it and cross the tracks. You have now successfully navigated to the other side.
  

Look to the nearby wall for the ladder. Climb up it quickly. At the top are plenty of missiles so you should start your attack.

• Hide behind the tacked up corrugated steel sheets as it is totally impervious to Strider fire. Why didn’t they make Gordon’s Hazmat suit out of this stuff? He would be indestructible.
• Listen to the Strider’s firing pattern. After a few shots it will stop and rest. This is the time to pop out and fire at it.
• After four or five hits it will go down.
  

Alyx comes out and plays to the game’s target audience by heaping tons of praise and saying that you are her new hero. Which makes me wonder who her old hero was considering we have been saving her bandoliered ass for the last three hours.

Denouement

Alex walks over to the nearby computer terminal and pushes the “Start Train” button and jumps aboard. Then, like Harry S. Truman on a whistle-stop tour through City-17’s countryside, Grodon and Alyx (train) ride off into the sunset. The Citadel, now in full view, starts shooting these little energy balls into that cyclone that is forming above it. Alyx says that this is the message being transmitted to Combine central. At the same time, a bunch of escape pods rush overhead. These are the same pods that gave us that retinal check back in the Citadel. The screen goes white and Alex whispers Oh god.

What is with Half-life games always starting or ending with a train ride? At least Alfred Hitchcock’s North By Northwest ended the with a train entering a tunnel to imply the characters were having sex . If anything the Citadel’s explosion implies a cock-block by the Combine.

Time: 3hr18min *****