Memory Block 6: Robert (Jerusalem)
Another big city at Altair’s fingertips (minus one) to
fully explore. However, there is nothing fun to do in this sandbox. Why can’t I
turn on crowd surfing mode or pick up a barrel and go crowd bowling. They have licensed
the havoc engine, do something with it. I want to see bodies being tossed
about. Also, what about moshpit mode. I want to build huge barricades in the
street trapping a hundred people in a small space and see what happens when I
ride my horse through it.
This is my biggest problem with the game. It is not the
repetitive missions or the mindless and endless flag track downs, it’s that the
game is a missed opportunity. They have this crowd simulator and they have a
beautiful city. I want to play with those two things.
Assassin’s Bureau:
Once again, Altair has to deal with Malik. Luckily he is
a whole lot more pleasant now that Altair is following the Creed. Malik tells
him that he can find some informers hanging out where all targets in this game
hang out: hospitals and churches.
Investigation:
In the Middle District of Jerusalem the various
informants are all talking about the finely dressed Knights who are in Jerusalem.
The fine dress is because Robert is there to attend a Muslim funeral as a sign
of reconciliation between the two cultures. It seems that Robert wants to see
peace between Muslims and Christians and united under the Templar banner.
After the investigation and back at the Bureau, Altair has
a sudden Assassin mea culpa. He says that he was such a fool in Solomon’s Temple
and that because of his actions, Malik to lost his arm and his brother, Kadar,
lost his life. Malik embraces this apology and remarks how different Altair is
now. Altair has rejected his
dickweed ways and fully devotes himself to the creed. See the moral lesson
here? Killing seven people has turned a former misanthrope into a empathetic person who contributes
to a structured organization. What a great guy.
The Kill:
As Altair comes around the corner of the church, a crowd has
gathered around a grave while an Emam
gives a eulogy for a fallen Saracen. The speech couldn’t be any more generic and
I wonder if the writer just googled “funeral eulogy” and then copied the first
thing he found. One thing I know they didn’t google was “Muslim funeral”
because there are a number of things that aren’t right. Traditionally, there
are no speeches (only silent prayer), women aren’t allowed at the burial, there
shouldn’t be a gravestone or flowers. You would think someone from their “multi cultural team of various
religious faiths” would have pointed out that this isn’t very accurate. Not
that I can speak to it as I have never
been to one and all this is from a technical outline of a Muslim funeral . If you have
attended a Muslim funeral send me a note and let me know what else is off.
At the end of the speech everyone in the crowd say this slurred
“Amen” which is probably because they didn’t know how else to end a prayer, Robert,
who is standing next to the Emam whispers in his ear and points to the rest of
the troops. The Emam then changes subjects and says that this man was murdered
and then in an Agatha Christy-esque reveal yells that the murderer is here in
the crowd!
Of course the crowd would break up at such a dramatic
reveal and the funeral stops to chase down Altair. Fight off the troops as you
normally do but aim for Robert.
Blue Screen of Death:
Altair rips off the Templar’s helmet but instead of
finding Robert he finds a woman. Frustrated he asks “what sorcery is this?” The
decoy gets a befuddled look on her face as she wonders how cross dressing could
be considered witchcraft. Instead of attending the funeral, Robert had fled to
find King Richard with hopes of negotiating peace between Saracen and Crusader.
Unwittingly, Altair’s seven assassinations have united the former enemies
against the Assassin brotherhood.
Altair doesn’t kill her because she is not his target. I
guess we don’t consider all those lepers and beggars I slaughtered to get here
as targets, lets just call them... environment. The big question though is, why
is this decoy female? Wouldn’t it just be easier to dress up one of the endless
supply of guards in Templar armor? Methinks the designers got to the end of the
game and were like “oh crap guys, we have like three female characters. One
caries jugs, the other begs for money, and the third is Lucy. We need to get a
strong female in here somewhere. We can’t kill her though because Altair
standing over a female corpse would look bad. Don’t worry guys, she can still be
hot.”
Back at the bureau, Altair reports that Robert knew he
was going to be at the funeral and it was a trap. With obvious complications of
having the Saracens and the Crusaders aligned against the Assassins, Malik’s idea
is to go ask his manager (Al Mualim). Altair says that would be a bad idea
because that manager is hiding something. He decides to go hunt down Robert on
his own and orders Malik to go spy on Al Mualim in Masyaf.
This confrontation with Robert does not take place in a
city but in a place called Arsuf. To get there you have to leave Jerusalem
and select “The Kingdom” from the menu. Then, ride south through the Kingdom to
the Arsuf icon. Considering the over world was pretty much useless when they
implemented the “Select Destination” menu, this last farewell ride through the Kingdom seems like an apology to the
really talented team who designed it.
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Assassin's Creed 
