God Of War 2 Demo

Battle of the colossus
 

Linda Hunt, headmaster of Kindergarten Cop Elementary and international sex kitten, purrs the exposition.  She tells us that by defeating Aries, Kratos became the God of War.  He is shunned by the gods but he doesn’t care because he hangs out with the Sparta warriors.  Athena stops him and tells him “enough Kratos, with every city you destroy the gods of Olympus are getting mad.” Why should they be mad at his fighting ... he is the god of WAR.  It’s like complaining that Hephaestus is always sooty.

Rather than get bitched out by his mom sponsor god, Kratos repeats his swan dive/game opening trick and crash lands in the middle of Sparta’s attack on Rhodes.  Athena counters this by sending a hawk to animate the Colossus of Rhodes and also deflate Kratos. 

The colossus trudges across the little inlet and the water affects look nice and sudsy.  Kratos shrinks down and ends up in a little palace atrium.  Colossus runs up and looks into the windows wondering where Kratos is.  It’s more than a little creapy to have a 100 ton Colosuss playing peeping tom on you. 

Kill the multiple waves of gold-platted soldiers.  My favorite attack combo is to use the triangle button, shoot them in the air and attack them while floating above the other soon-to-be-killed-guards.  My absolute favorite through is to hit once with square then press circle button to grab and break the guards in half.  Or just circle to do a rapid-fire shiv attack.

When all of the guards are defeated, three solders look on behind the gate and say “by the gods he has killed them all” and then run off.  Run up to the gate and press R1 at the small glint then tap the circle button to do a clean and jerk on the gate.

Circle around the room fighting off any guards.  When you get to the end the colossus reaches in, pats around like he is looking for his lost glasses and then grabs two guys who probably have second thoughts about voting “yes” when the Rhoads’s council said “hey! Let’s build a huge bronze statue in front of our city-state.” 

Jump through the new hole in the wall, open the chest and then climb up the ladder.  Jump out the window to find the colossus again. 

This colossus sure does use his hands a lot and probably has a sensitive touch.  If he wasn’t destroyed by that earthquake in 224 BC he could have used them to give the Statue of Liberty one hell of a good rubdown.  She seems a bit tense and I bet she would enjoy that.

Continue left past the clutch of soldiers and jump up to the giant ballista.  Press R1 to fire a rock which is quickly smashed by the Colossus.  Jump back down to the soldiers and fight it out there. 

• Watch for the colossus’ windups and move the right analog stick to dodge the Colossus’s slap attack. 
• When his hand hits the ground it will sit there for a moment.  Use this time to start attacking it.
• After several hits he will pull it back and commence the attack again. 
• Repeat the above process and when you have hit the hand several more times, the colossus’ eyes will shut and he will pull back, rest his hand on the building for a little cool down.

At this time, jump back up to the ballista.  Press R1 and then rapidly tap O to throw yourself at him.   As soon as Kratos hits him, follow the on screen button presses to attack the giant in such a hyped-up fashion that it makes the battles in Shadow of the Colossus seem about as much fun as reading a book. 

After successfully punching out its eye, the Colossus flings Krato’s across Rhoads and so creating a makeshift oculus in one of the town's domes.

When you regain control of Kratos in the pool, don’t swim down the tube yet.  Swim back just a bit and then hit X to surface.  Climb out of the water and circle around the room to find a row of protective screens.

Attack them a lot and they will be destroyed.  Boring now, but file this place away in your "to visit later list" because it will be the setting for the now signature coitus simulator that GoW has been known for. 

KOTAKU'S Take on Sex MiniGame (NSFW)  

When ready, get back in the pool and dive down the underwater tunnel.  Press and hold R1 and then release to bust through the grate.  Surface and swim right to the ladder that is leaning up against the burning-town set-piece featured in Pirates of the Caribbean the ride.  Climb up and R1 the giant lever.  R1 the sparkling hook and swing across the gap.  Jump up the two ledges to the grate at the top.  Use R1 and circle again to get through.

Fight the guys in the next room and climb the ladder.  The colossus gets fed up with Kratos’ annoying attacks and decides to put his foot down.  Unfortunately, it is on you.  Rapidly tap circle to fling the cross across Rhoads. 

God, this picture never gets old

Continue to the left side of the room and hand-grab your way up the wall. When you reach the top, the Colossus comes back up and god he looks bad.  His bronze skin is really falling off fast and judging by what is underneath I am thinking that it is really Tron Guy in a bronze suit.

Stand just a bit to the right of his right hand.

• Don’t stand too close to his right hand or he will attack you with his right fore-arm.When he rears back his left arm for a smash, double jump towards the right side of him.  Quickly turn around and start attacking that left fist.If he pulls back both arms for a double fisted tantrum use your magic by pressing L2 and Kratos will yell stuff like “I am the God of War”, “I will make you suffer” or “Don’t believe Ondore’s Lies”

When Colossus has been knocked around enough he will run off to one of the two corners and pout.  Run over to his hand (indicated by the circle) and press the circle button.  Then, follow the context sensitive prompts to give him some nasty Inigo Montoya cuts.  After he has been cut, you will need to repeat the above attack to cut up his face a second time.

When the second set of slashs are complete, he grabs Kratos in his hand.  And here is the box cover art which makes a bit more sense because based on what was in his mouth I thought it was going to be “Kratos and the adventure of the Blueberry Jelly Monster.” I guess know I know that blue light is Athena’s power?   You need to pump the L1 and L2 buttons to free his vice grip. 

Colossus throws Kratos through another dome (leaving two Wile E. Coyote holes in the ceiling) and into a quaint little villa.  Jump over the chariot and up onto the balcony.  Lift the gate and run through the hall.  When you hear someone yell something that sounds like “watch your bike” make a quick right to avoid the archers.  Make another right and fight off the approaching guards. 

After clearing that room, observe the light streaming through the open window and that sexy dandruff particle effect.  Move to the left corner of said room to find a pedestal with a statue on top that is spread eagle.  I mean an eagle whose wings are spread.  Drag it over to the switch plate that is right by the gate.  The gate opens from the pressure of the stone (I am so sick of floor triggers).  Hold R1 on the stone eagle again but this time press and hold X until Kratos stops his grunting, at which point you can release X to fling it past the gate and onto the next trigger.  Kratos is locked out now so position him on that first trigger and then flick the right control stick forward to roll him past the gate before it closes. 

You should now have Kratos, the eagle pedestal, and the second touch plate all together.  Pull the statue onto the touch plate to open the second gate and run through. 

As Kratos runs down the hallway and and makes a quick left and someone yells out “Die with Honor.”  This fight is easiest if you jump over the front line and attack the archers first.  With them down, go back to fight the foot soldiers.

Run ahead to a platform with a lever.  Pull it with R1 and ride up to the top.  The spinning gears under it indicate that this powered by some crazy ancient mechanics. 

Run straight ahead towards the open window and the colossus looks through.  Strike it his eye a few times and be glad that the colossus didn’t mistake this for a glory hole. 

 ---- God of War II coming in March -----

And that concludes the GoW 2 demo.  Proceed to the main menu and select Treasures for some additional videos. 

Road to E3... 

When watching it, keep an eye out for the following:

• An XBOX 360 (and no PlayStation hardware ironically)
• A sweet floor-to-ceiling white board
• A interview with the director who makes four distinct gun and grenade analogies in a one minute sound byte
• Two people wearing two different pieces of signature PlayStation clothing.

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