Game Intestine

I bet shadow man is thinking the same thing I would be which is "did the strokes play here last night? And what kind of kooky drugs is Julian Casablancas on anyway?" Girl lying on bed. I stand up. If this kid and link were to get in a fight which one's frail arms would give out first?

I sheath my sword to visit her (see sexual/condom imagery). Stone breaks. Voices

start talking to me. Not sure if they are inside my own head or from spirits.

Directions: Seaside cave, it moves slowly. Check.

I Climb on my horse and venture outside and the voices are back. "If thou should findist this altar, say a prayer and wounds shall be healed." That is the crappies altar; it looks like Ms. Johnson's 3rd grade class built it. Try out this new feature (circle is the prayer button by the way). This brings you to the save screen.

Hold out my sword, it says go north. The landscape is nice and the castle is very castly. Limestone I would imagine. Continue along the land bridge that heads north and don't cross the one that shoots northwest. While crossing the bridge, note the misty crevice below, probably a bit of foreshadowing. There seems to be a large door down there too.

Cinematic. The camera pans across the valley that I just said was foreshadowing. That probably means I should go down there and that it really was foreshadowing.

As I continue down the path there seems to be some broken architecture. As I descend further into the canyon there is a nice subtle fog effect on the canyon floor. I am sure there was one guy assigned just to fog on this game. I would give him a raise. Continue through the canyon, spiraling in towards that large door we saw before in the cinematic.

Cinematic: The Colossus Crashes through the rocks like the Kool-aid guy. Oooh-yah. I wonder how many times that colossus breaks through that wall only to rebuild it so that the next fool that comes down here is shocked to see him break through again. Anyhow, he kind of looks like a train or Optimus Prime. Did I mention that he also has hoofs.

Once he has busted through that wall, he just kinda walks around. Based on his entrance, I expected him to charge at me, but no he just ambles about.

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Kill Colossus #2:

Stand right in front of him and he will rear back onto his back legs. He exposes his front hooves (which glow). As with all video games, anything that glows needs to be shot. So shoot them with your arrows. He will fall onto the hoof that was shot.

Climb up on his hoof and continue up the rest of his body. Rest on that shoulder if you have to. Work your way across his side to the rump. Walk cross his back and notice the glowing blue Henna design right on the top of his head.

Stab it several times. It will disappear.

Proceed back to the rump again and note the other blue Henna design. Stab it to bring him down.

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Cinematic: The colossus dying. Another passive beast (if you ignore breaking through that wall) killed by that damn punk kid. Black worms enter again. I then apparently make the jump to light speed.

Save screen: I pick slot 1. 2 Defeated.

I am catching an Oedipus theme from killing these huge beasts all for a woman. If you are under 18, you are probably playing this game instead of doing your homework or studying for midterms or something. Keep playing and reading this guide but after you are done, make sure you work on school you will sooner or later read Oedipus Rex. He killed his dad and married his mom and had kids with her too. Many, many subsequent stories will involve killing a father figure. Think Luke Skywalker killing Darth Vader. These Colossi are putting out strong Oedipus vibes.

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